Monday, September 3, 2007

just starting

8:31 pm sept 3, 2007
Literally....just starting. This is the first time I've ever "blogged." Not sure if this will be a routine, or just a sometimes event. And I'm just starting as a mother, a working mother, at that. I'm completely overwhelmed, as we are trying to find childcare for our infant son. We live in a rural town, which was never my choice. I moved here from a huge city. I am an urbanite at heart, and I think I will always be. I moved here to live with my significant other. Living here has still not "sunk in," though I've been here now approching 2 1/2 years. I have been dragging my feet about getting married to my baby's father. Not because I don't love him, I do. But because--well, I'm really not sure. Perhaps this puzzle will be unraveled as I continue to write in the coming weeks and months. It's quite complicated, at least I think it is.

Our town, beyond being rural, is also somewhat southern, at least in feel. Geographically, we are not that far south, but it's as southern a town as I've ever lived in. Being from the city and knowing what major metropolitan areas offer, I'm quite sure that no one - even an au pair from the middle of nowhere- would NEVER want to come here, unless she is tricked.

There is next to nothing to do here.

I'm listening to my son and husband to be. The baby monitor is on. My baby is crying and his father is trying to talk him down from his crying fit. To no avail. I suspect he may be hungry. Ugh. I am nursing him, and I feel like I am pulling up my shirt every hour. I'm not, though. I do love bonding with my baby during the nursing sessions. But it's exhausting!